OF FAILURES AND GRATITUDES

Today was a day of great fortune. I had been to the Moonlight Studio to receive my snaps. What great snaps! I look at least 15 to 20 years older; in fact the guy in the photo did not seem to be me. People say that sons resemble their father over time. Now this guy in the photo does not even resemble my father. My father was a good man, short on temper but honest which qualifies him to be good. So, I am pushing my forties looking sixties and pop goes my fantasy that I am still young. I look horrible like an old mud flap behind a wheel. Why is that fortunate? I now have experience on my side. Ha, Ha.
What does it feel to be old and a miserable failure? Well, frankly not so great. Being old does not hurt so much as being a failure. But escape that tag, I can’t. Life can be experienced through various frames, comforts, wealth, happiness, status, family, relationships, spiritual, work, education, etc. We have opportunities to enter each frame, stay a while, and make an effort, taste success or failure. I have entered all of them and made zero impact. Oops sorry, the truth is, I have infact made a negative impact.
Sadly this is not a two way street. As I grow old I can only grow older. This is no strange case of Suman Bose. The process is irreversible. There is no point in being dejected and then rejected. The days are not coming back, and even if they did I don’t think I ever would have the intelligence to wish to do things differently. If my life were to start again I probably would make the same mistakes, fall into the same traps, and end up being the same failure. A consistent fool is better than an inconsistent fool, don’t you agree. Yes, that’s me.
Ironically, knowing that I am a failure relives me from stress and burden. Henceforth I won’t have to pretend that I understand, I am a quick learner, I can take correct decisions. At every opportunity I can simply raise both hands and bring up my normal “what’s that” expression which so far I have only used with myself. I won’t have to worry about humiliation anymore. I accept that I am a failure, which is a serious matter and nobody can hang me for that. Wow!

Forty years of my life is gone and here I am safe and sound. Through this ordinary journey I owe a lot to so many people, I am grateful to so many close persons, who have cared for me, loved me and protected me. First, my parents my ma and babuji who fought each other to death, but stayed together for the sake of their children. They sacrificed their lives and happiness accepting bitterness and acrimony so that their children could stay together and grow together. That’s love. Ma and Babuji gave us kids nothing more than excellent education and good health and I am very grateful to them for this. Then came Kanchan who loved me and cared for me for a good eighteen years. However my lack of self esteem, confidence and maturity destroyed everything. I am grateful to her love and her supreme sacrifice of the best years of her life for me which cannot be returned. Soma and Biki, who love me and respect me so much. I am grateful to them for being born with me. I am grateful to all my partners and especially C. R. Sagdeo for being so generous and kind to a non deserving person like me. I am grateful to Kanchan’s mom who is such an extraordinary soul for all her love and kindness. I would like to add my grandmother to this list bacause I was drowned and drunk in her love for me. I am so grateful to her. I have not done anything to deserve such love, kindness and sacrifice from these great souls. Tears roll down my eyes when I think of all the pain and sorrow that I have given them in return.

About Freedom and Identity Crisis in India

Ram Sena and Mutalikh have a lot of supporters and an equal number against. The rest of India like me are sitting on the fence. Moral policing by self appointed saviours is going on all across the world and the most famous or infamous are the Taliban. Some describe them (saviours) as a frustrated lot who could not do much during their time and therefore cannot bear to see people happy. Could it be true?.

Mutalikh seems to have received a large number of pink inner wear and his people claim to have sent another large number of saries to undisclosed destinations. On the outside it looks like and ideological war but inside it is an identity crisis for the average Indian. Both the sides seem to be correct and at the same time both the sides seem to be wrong. Though this war of words and trading of garments has become a laughing matter, I feel that it is a very serious one.

More than half of this country is young and would therefore like to mock at Ram Sene and Muthalik. Young women feel that they know what they should do or not do and don't need to be told.Young men feel that personal freedom is most important. Like minded liberal oldies think that freedom of expression leads to creativity and would enhance the growth and development of the country. Everybody says that hitting a women in public is simply not done. I see this issue as a battle between the India of the small towns and the India of the metropolis, between young India and an old India. Indian Culture and Values have changed once again.

There are two issues that I wish to highlight.

1. Valentine's day has entrenched into Indian culture a decade back and now it is too late to even discuss the pros and cons of sending love notes, holding hands in public, hugging and kissing in private or public. Young India in the cities have accepted it and are practicing it for many years now and will not give it up. Youngsters in villages are waking up to this because of the controversy created by Siva Sena, MNS, Ram Sena and they would definitely would like to taste the forbidden fruit. Therefore this whole ruckus that is being raised by Muthalik is counter productive. The current times and age do not favour him. Public show of affection is here to stay.

2. At the same time, he has a point in all his rhetoric's and mumbo - jumbo. Freedom is very good as long as people are within limits and responsible. The moment a youngster (girl or boy) crosses the limit of self preservation and invites stares and fantasy in the eyes of viewing public, the devil in the human spirit rises its head. Most people have a devilish streak inside their minds which just needs a careless open door or even an unintended invitation to do that which normally is not done or is prohibited. The good Samaritan who wants to oppose Muthalik's madness should also understand that there are the not so good Samaritans who would like to take advantage of the youngster (girl or boy) who loves so much freedom that he or she goes over board and then cannot take care of themselves or protect themselves.

Does it mean that girls cannot drink in the pubs or hotels? No! They can.

Does it mean that boys and girls should not hold hands and kiss in public? No! They can.

All it means is that youngsters should be sensitive to the environment they exist in, sensitive to what they themselves would approve their children to do. Otherwise we also will very soon have parents at the age of 10-12 (Alfei and Chantelle -Britain) and two more young boys who claim that they are also the father of young Maisei. Imagine, none of these youngsters know the hardship involved in working to earn and earning to live. Does this make young Chantelle an accidental prostitute? Does it make her parents accidental pimps? I don't know. But is this situation because of misuse of freedom. Yes, it is.

'Know Thyself'

The ancient Greek aphorism "Know thyself" was inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi according to the Greek travelogue writer Pausanias. The aphorism has been attributed to a number of ancient Greek sages including Socrates. "Know thyself" was also the motto carved in stone on the entrance of the school founded by another Greek Philosopher Plato. 'Thyself', is not meant in reference to the egotist, but the ego within self, the “I AM” consciousness.

- Sourced from the internet


Much before the Greeks, the great sages of India who inscribed the Vedas and the Upanishads wrote;
asato ma sadgamaya

tamaso ma jyotirgamaya

mrtyorma amrtam gamaya

Lead me from the asat to the sat.

Lead me from darkness to light.

Lead me from death to immortality.

(Brhadaranyaka Upanishad — I.iii.28)
The essence of each of these three mantras is the same: "O, Guru, help me free myself from my sundry misunderstandings regarding myself, the universe and God and bless me with true knowledge." The universe and its things are in a constant state of change. The seasons similarly are ever-shifting. Scientifically, we can easily understand that our bodies (and the cells within them) come into existence, are born and then go through periods of growth, sustenance, deterioration and death. On the level of emotions, we move back and forth between happiness, sorrow and anger. Even our intellectual convictions rarely stay fixed for very long. So, according to Vedanta, we cannot call this world ultimately real. It is not ultimately true. Ultimately, it does not exist. It seems real etc. but it is not. Such a thing is called asat.
When the Vedas refer to darkness and light, they mean ignorance and knowledge, respectfully. This is so because ignorance, like darkness, obscures true understanding. And in the same way that the only remedy for darkness is light, the only remedy for ignorance is knowledge. The knowledge spoken of here is again the knowledge of one’s true nature.
Again death to immortality should not be taken as a prayer to live endless years in heaven or on earth. It is a prayer to the Guru for assistance in realizing the truth that "I was never born, nor can ever die, as I am not the body, mind and intellect, but the eternal, blissful consciousness that serves as the substratum of all creation."It is important to remember that, with all these mantras, the leading is not a physical leading. The Atma is not something far away that we have to make a pilgrimage to, nor is it something we need to transform ourselves into. Atma means "self." We don’t need to transform our self into our self. Nor do we need to travel to it. We are it. The journey is a journey of knowledge. It is journey from what we misunderstand to be our self to what truly is our self. What the mantras really means is "Lead me to the understanding that I am not the limited body, mind and intellect, but am, was and always will be that eternal, absolute, blissful consciousness that serves as their substratum."
- once again downloaded from the internet

In the line of the great sages, about 2600 years ago Gautama Buddha said, “By self is evil done, by self is one defiled, by self is no evil done, by self is one purified, both defilement and purity depend on oneself, no one is purified by another”

Greek Philosophy Socrates (469 - 399 B.C.) said as he looked forward from his last hour, “Wars, factions, and fighting, have no other origin than this same body and its lusts. ... We must set the soul free from it; we must behold things as they are. And having thus got rid of the foolishness of the body, we shall be pure and hold converse with the pure, and shall in our own selves have complete knowledge of the incorruptible which is, I take it, no other than the very truth”.

To know oneself begins with the realization that everything worth knowing in this world begins and ends inside the framework of one’s body. Everything that we see, feel, understand and experience in this outer world has got its genesis inside the body and in the mind. Whether it is material, emotional, intellectual, or whether it is relationships, achievements, academics, spiritual, or whether it is the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the common factor is that the seed germinates inside us and we find that the tree grow outside. We are the creators of our own destiny. We alone are responsible for all the good and bad in our own life.

However it is very difficult to realize this as a fact. Benjamin Franklin wrote "There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self."

We don’t easily accept responsibility for the wrongs and sadness in our lives. Our mind creates the ego, the “me and mine” character, with varied color shades of personality, who easily falls prey to the external factor responsibility syndrome for each suffering experienced and who cultivates the “I almighty” image for each happy moment. The ego craves for the happy times and generates aversion for the sad moments. Such reaction towards happiness and sadness, both leads to further unhappiness.

Acceptance of our self’s as we are, is the truth which sets us free. There is a purpose behind everything in our life and we have created that purpose. The moment we stop resisting the reality of our life and the moment we accept responsibility for the reality of our life, we gain wisdom. This wisdom helps to desist from creating further causes for pain, helps to throw out the ego and also helps to create an attitude to go through the effects of past causes without really suffering.

Every individual is different because the causes are different, the intensity of the causes is different, and the reaction to the good and bad times is different. To know oneself is to understand these realities. To know oneself is to understand the purpose of our life which is to be happy and to be at peace. Wisdom is to acknowledge that when we do not create causes for sadness, we are bound to become happy. Wisdom means that when we are indifferently to the good and the bad in our life by accepting them as they are, we escape from becoming their prey and their toy. We gain control over our mind. We become free.

Vippassana shows the way. Try it.

The first post...

Too many people seem to be creating blogs either as individuals or as groups. As a form of expression for the ordinary citizen, it is very effective in two ways, one to convey the feelings erupting in the heart, and two to store these thoughts effectively without any messy paper work. For me there is one more reason to add to the list and that is to improve my language and writing skill. Therefore at the outset let me announce proudly that this is a mediocre blog. In time to come, if I can improve the contents even by a few degrees I will be satisfied. Currently I am writing for myself and I don’t have the guts to invite anybody to such banal expressions. Tomorrow if somebody walks in it would be at their own risk.
I had spent quite a lot of time on the title for this blog. In fact more than 24 hours. Every idea flopped including “bose”. I was fiddling around with a number of words and a favorite topic ‘trust’ just came to the surface. One thing lead to another and ‘trust your life’ was instantly accepted by the site. Since it had rejected all my earlier proposals I hastily consented to this immediate acceptance. On after thought I believe that this title is apt in today’s world.
Love for life, love for everybody, love for everything is very essential for all human beings. When I simply love, I fully trust. When I fully trust, I don’t fear. When I don’t fear, I don’t have any negative emotions like anger or sadness. This simple truth about life when put into practice can resolve every dispute can dissolve every hurdle. Love is trust and trust is love. One does not need to go out of the way to prove anything to anybody. There need not be any display, neither is there any expectation. To simply love and trust the world is to love and trust our own life. To be in the present moment and to accept the reality of our own life is the best gift we can give and receive from this universe. Expressing love is good but even the thought of love in the heart is enough. The body would take care of all the required expressions.
To love and trust life is to believe that whatever happens, it is for the good. It is the best possible outcome in the given circumstance considering all our efforts in the past and present. To accept the given situation gracefully and graciously would mean to enable our self to grow in every sense of the word.
To love and trust life is to know that all our needs are provided for. It really does not take much to live a simple life. A simple life promises freedom from stress, anxiety, greed, and many such ailments. The promise of freedom also means that you can do what your heart wants to do. Therefore to love and trust life is to know that when you are doing what makes you happy, then when you need food life will provide for it. Trust life like a baby trusts its mother. When we were babies and cried for food, life gave us our mother with food. Why have we lost that trust as we grew up? This is not advocating lethargy but a push for being fearless. One of course would have to work and exert for food, clothing and shelter but with a difference. That difference being the absence of fear. Do what you love to do, do what would make you happy, and your life will see to it that you have worked enough to meet your basic needs. My father often used the expression ‘simple living and high thinking’ when it came to defining our ancestors who conceptualised classics like the ‘Veda’, ‘Gita’, ‘Ramayana’ or scientist and mathematicians who invented number systems including ‘zero’ or state craft specialist like ‘Chanakya’. They did not die of starvation but their work is remembered till this day.
To love and trust, to be free from fear, to accept life as it unveils would result in freedom from all negative emotions like anger and sad. Emotions attract and create more emotions. It multiplies in our own heart and in the hearts of others. Therefore when laughter creates more laughter, anger also creates more anger. This spiraling effect has a very bad impact when it comes to negative emotions and is the cause of all resentment, hatred, violence, depression and sadness that we see all across the world on every human face today.